So, I got a little call from Dr. Blake's office yesterday, and it is official. Kyle William Baker has infectious mononucleosis. Kyle was so excited. He emailed his parents, called his friends. He also got some steroids so the itty bitty little opening that was his throat could be a bit bigger to allow for activities such as breathing and drinking.

Kyle was gifted with extraordinarily big tonsils. With this little disease called mono, the big tonsils have their chance to show what they are really good at: obstructing airways quickly. Yes, Kyle's monstrous tonsils had swelled up to touch his uvula. (I just found out, boys and girls, that the little dangly thing in the back of your throat is called an uvula. Well, Kyle's tonsils were well on their way to becoming one with the uvula, so nice Dr. Blake gave Kyle some happy pills. And now Kyle and I know by eyesight verification that his throat does extend past the uvula. Most of the pus is gone, even, from the much smaller tonsils. He's feeling much better, has more energy, and even ventured forth from the house today with Joshua to go buy donuts.

Mama Linda has proved the immense power of the Mama-ray. A Mama-ray is an inexplicable phenomenon that occurs when a maternal affection, powered by concerned, becomes a ray so persistant and far-ranging that grand motherly things happen according to the concerns of the emmitor. Mama Linda's Mama-rays have become so fine-tuned over time that when Kyle became sick, she aimed a powerful Mama-ray at Kyle. Kyle indeed was hit by Aunt Deana, sister of the emitter, who carried Linda's Mama-ray in form of berries, broth, and non-dairy sorbet to the afflicted mono patient's cupboards.

So far, I don't have mono. To my knowledge. According to Dr. Blake, 97% of the adult population has had mono, but only 20% remember having it. Mono has many levels of severity. Apparently, you can get it and mistake it for a bad cold as a child, build up anitbodies then, and never get it again. So, I technically could have had mono before. But the only way to be certain is to pay $40 for a lab test, and I don't feel like it. I really don't want to have it. I have a wedding to plan. We're not moving it.

So, now the audience is all in suspense to uncover the mystery: does the Bride have mono lurking in her system, waiting to emerge and ruin the plans for the next month or so and put a serious damper on the wedding planning?

What about those rumors of apartment shopping in Salem? Will Joshua's obsession with Diet Coke eventually lead to mass destruction? Will the killer deer devour the flower beds? Who was that masked man, anyway?